60-year-old employee defies 33-year-old manager in refusal to return to office 2 days a week: 'She argues everyone is overwhelmed'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 13, 2026 3:45 PM EDT

Just because we don't want to do something at work doesn't mean that we can get away with not doing it.

In fact, it is pretty much a built-in feature of most jobs that they are going to have parts of them that we do not enjoy doing that much. Even if it seems like they don't exist at first, they will come along and give us an unpleasant surprise soon enough. That's working life for you.

This means that in most cases, a vital part of being an employee is being a judge of how many less-than-ideal aspects of the job you are willing to endure in return for the good parts. When you're in the middle of things, it can sometimes be difficult to understand that balance.

At the same time, making your voice heard when you do not like something is an important skill to develop in the workplace. So long as you communicate tactfully, it is occasionally possible to prompt positive change where there was no other way. However, it is important to understand when you are fighting a losing battle. If you don't do that, there is every chance that your employment status is going to be on the line.

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  • An older employee takes a meeting on her laptop at home with a glass of wine by her side
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    An older employee takes a meeting on her laptop at home with a glass of wine by her side

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • A manager was feeling overwhelmed after their company introduced a return-to-office initiative that insisted remote employees spend two days a week in the office. Out of his team of five, one employee in particular was protesting this change and refusing to go back until the workplace felt less busy.

    Although he had his sympathies with her and her argument that their work could still be done from home, he was under pressure to enforce the mandate. Also, he knew that this employee had a short and easy commute to the office. He wanted some advice on how to deal with her refusal.

  • Company is mandating RTO, but one employee is refusing and says “I’ll come in once things are less busy.” What do I do?

    I (33M) manage a team of 5 and have been in the role for about three months. Our employer is now mandating a return to office policy 2 days a week.
    via SimplerLife40
  • Originally, leadership wanted 3 days/week starting in mid-March, but I pushed back and got it reduced to 2 days/week with a delayed start in mid- May.
    via SimplerLife40
  • An older employee gestures to a tablet she is holding as she takes a meeting on her laptop at home
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    An older employee gestures to a tablet she is holding as she takes a meeting on her laptop at home

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Telework agreements were due this past Friday. Everyone completed theirs except one employee (60F). A reminder email has already been sent.
    via SimplerLife40
  • Her position is basically that returning to the office makes no sense because all of our work can be done remotely. Honestly, I agree with her that the work itself can be done remotely - but this decision is coming from above me, and there's really nothing I can do beyond the compromises I already negotiated.
    via SimplerLife40
  • She also argues that everyone is already overwhelmed with work, and commuting just takes away time that could be spent working. But she lives about a 5-minute drive from the office, and our office is located in the safest part of the city, so there really are not major logistical or safety barriers here. She told me she'd be willing to start coming in once "things get less busy." What would you do in this situation?
    via SimplerLife40
  • An older employee works on her laptop from home while looking at a clipboard
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    An older employee works on her laptop from home while looking at a clipboard

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Imaginary-Friend-228 Either restate and enforce the standards or don't. It's not up to her to decide you aren't her manager. Tbh, you say she isn't taking you seriously but it sounds like you don't take yourself seriously as her manager. Its completely normal to manage people of all ages. Get used to it.
    via Imaginary-Friend-228
  • If you're going with 'restate and enforce', you don't have to listen to or give counter arguments to her reasoning. Just "I understand. The expectation is bla bla." And then don't ignore it when she ignores you.
    via Imaginary-Friend-228
  • Pouryou It seems highly likely that others in your company are pushing back on the mandate. Ask HR what the approved messaging is; usually it's something like "failure to sign the agreement will result in termination" and then you tell that to your direct report.
    via Pouryou
  • It sounds like you're caught up in why she's acting like she is, and feeling unappreciated for the exemptions you fought for. These are common but ultimately not actionable feelings. Find out the rule, communicate the rule, hold her to the rule. Good luck!
    via Pouryou
  • irishfury0 Tell her you understand her perspective but this is coming from above you and there is nothing you can do. Both verbally and in writing explain what the expectation is. Find out from HR how they plan to enforce this and what the consequences are going
    via irishfury0
  • to be e.g. warning, reprimand, termination. Then follow the rules. She is going to test you and she is going to find out the hard way and that's on her. She might not like you but she will respect you once she sees you enforcing the rules. The rest of the team will also respect you for it.
    via irishfury0
  • I actually find these situations easy when there is no gray area and it's out my hands. RTO s_ks and I can empathize with them but I'm not going to be a martyr and lose my job or credibility because some ah le doesn't want to follow the rules.
    via irishfury0
  • genek1953 You really have no other option here than to adhere to the terms that you negotiated with your upper management. Anything less undermines you with both the people reporting to you and the people you report to.
    via genek1953
  • Consult your HR to determine whether refusal on her part to sign the telework agreement and conform to the RTO constitutes a voluntary quit by her or if it. requires termination by the company. If it's the latter, PIP her with a requirement to sign and conform to the telework agreement or be terminated.
    via genek1953
  • DND_Enk What is there to discuss? Say that while all her arguments are fair the decision has been made and there is nothing left to discuss right now. And if she does not show up escalate with HR whatever the next step is.
    via DND_Enk
  • Irish-Mama4 Someone once told me to reply " are you telling me you won't be doing your job/complying?". Making it clear that it's not you but their job they are up against has an immediate effect
    via Irish-Mama4
  • Syko_okyS Document everything and prepare to terminate her. She's not a decision maker and can't just decide to refuse the RTO. Unless she is absolutely critical, you will find a replacement.
    via Syko_okyS

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boss employee manager work wfh workplace entitled people
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